she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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