How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
