I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
