did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
