Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
