Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
