I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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