So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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