I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
