it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
