Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
