Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
