Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
