I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
