She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
