Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
