I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
