I wanna bring you to show and tell
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
