Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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