About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
