i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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