I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
