Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
