Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
