I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
