i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
