READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize