I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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