my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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