FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The power of my boobs compel you
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
