I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize