But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
