This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
