Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Enjoy the penises
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
