On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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