That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
