I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize