I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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