Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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