I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
