It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
