I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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