Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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