Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize