im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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