Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize