WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
