Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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