so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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