Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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