As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
