I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
