You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize