Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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