they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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