Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
