You just made me feel so damn special
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I have aggressive nipples.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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