Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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