It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
