I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
