I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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