guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
